You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
