it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
