i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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