pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize