Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
