making cat noises will not fix the situation.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Randomize
