Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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