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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
