So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
