why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
