Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
