she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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