You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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