dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
You have to summon your inner elephant
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
