he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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