There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
