i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
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