the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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