So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Randomize
