my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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