Hey man sorry I got all grabby
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
