So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
