It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize
