Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
