thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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