Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
