He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
