Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
