I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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