$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
