Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
