I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
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