their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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