Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
