The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Randomize
