I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
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