great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
