I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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