I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
