Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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