I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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