Fine. I'll sleep in my office
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
