JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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