woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
The Olympian is in my bed
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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