I love black thongs
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
