i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
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