I'm going to rape someone's good day.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
