The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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