i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
