I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
