I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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