what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
